


A Little Weekend Project

by MajorMadness



Series: WE THE BEST FANFICS [3]
Category: Mount and Blade - Fandom
Genre: Baaaa, Other, Sheep, building, kiwi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:46:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7626301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorMadness/pseuds/MajorMadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abe want's to get the kids involved in a more usefull project, so he asks his wife if he can activate his plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Weekend Project

It's a lovely summer afternoon, wtb had just finished training and have all gone back to their usual hobbies. Abe and Scots take this small time between the chaos of running the house to get a bit of time to themselves. With the sun showing a bright face, ScotsMum got out his best Bikini to do some tanning. A Bright yellow two piece with a ring in the middle of his cleavage and two rigs on the side of his bottoms, they seem to be custom made with extra material to compensate for the bulge not fit for a normal bikini bottom.

Abe is wearing his favorite pair of speedos. Black all around except for a small lightning bolt on the middle of the bulge area. Abe takes a big gulp of his favourite beer, stubby of VB. Its nice and cold just the way he likes it. ScotsMum to Abe’s left is sipping his Apple-Tini from a curly straw as he reads ‘50 Shades of Gray the Extended Edition™’. 

After a few minutes of silence, Abe decides now is the best time to bring up what he has been thinking for the past few days.”I’ve been thinking honey.” Abe looks to see his wife’s reaction. Who has only so far put his book down on his left leg.

“I hope it wasn’t like your last idea.”

“Oh really? Your bringing this up now? Look you may not have liked the threesome with Cuthbert, but Wolfgang told me his dick was way bigger than that. Don’t blame me completely.”

“You shouldn’t trust your boss in these matters love, you may be friends at work but he doesn’t understand our way of living.”

“What do you mean our way of living? Is Wolfgang incapable to enjoy the pleasure of gay couples? Is that what you are saying?”

“No honey.” ScotsMum says pinching his nose bridge. “It’s just the way we do things. I’m sure Wolfgang is more than fine with his normal relationship, but when it comes to gay sex stuff, bigger dicks are a lot more common since you just see more dicks. He’s probably only seen Cuthberts dick and his own.”

Abe isn’t sure how to respond because ScotsMum’s reasoning is probably right. The normal folk and their women just don’t understand real dick size. Ever since Abe and Scots settled down and stopped clubbing they just just don’t understand how they work anymore.

“Anyway, it’s not like my last idea. This idea is much more for the kids. I hope you like it.” At Abe’s words ScotsMum lowers his sunglasses to look him in the eyes. Abe’s confidence doesn’t falter however, he is very pleased with his idea.

“I want to start a garden and get some animals. Get the kids looking after them and get some home grown plants as an extra plus. We have plenty of room for a few pens and some crops like corn and potatoes. What do you think?” ScotsMum thinks for a few seconds before smiling.

“You know what? I like that idea, some quality father son's time that doesn’t involve killing something or someone. But please take Drew along with you when you look for some animals to buy, he loves that kind of thing.”

Abe is pleased with ScotsMum agreeing with his idea, and after a quick dip in ScotsMum and the pool, Abe sets out to making a few plans for building some animal pens and the garden.

After a few hours Abe is happy with his plans. It calls for a chicken coop that can hold a dozen chickens, a pig pen for two pigs, a pen for two cows with a gate to let them roam when allowed and a pen with room for three sheep with a gate as well.A small handmade barn will take longer than the pens, but it would be a great thing to do for a long while. His plans for some crops allow plenty of corn, tomatoes, potatoes and other seasoning herbs like basil and rosemary.

Abe’s trip to bunnings was a great success, getting plenty of wood and extra hardware he needed. Abe was expecting it to take hours to fit the truck with all the hardware, but with the help of the weebs and their one strong arm each was surprisingly helpful. Once Abe got home with the weebs they started laying the wood and equipment in the area that needed it first. Only enough wood for a frame was bought for the barn, but the pen for cows,sheep,pigs and the chicken coop is all there.

Abe calls all the kids outside and to line up in order of height “Ok boys” Abe says. ”Todays order of business is very simple. First we start with the sheep and cow pens, tomorrow the pig pen and what we haven’t finished from today. After that the chicken coop, and we can start the barn if we have enough time. “

“Daddy when do we get the sheep!” drew on the small end of the line calls out. 

“Don’t worry little drewie, we will be getting the sheep and cows in about an hour, we will just put a wooden pole in the ground and tie rope to it and the animals so they won’t wander too far.”

Scots Mum makes his way to the side of Abe and turns to face the boys. “I will bring out snacks and drinks every now and then! If anyone gets hurt just shout out and I’ll bring the first aid kit!”

Abe looks at his boys, then at the area that will soon become animal pens and gardens. ”Ok boys! Let’s get this started! We will have groups of three, one weeb per group and each group working on one thing. Step forward when I call your name. Group Alpha, Madness, Fluffy and Carlos. You Three will work on the cow pen, and fluffy, if you ever feel the need to gag Carlos you go ahead and do so.”

Fluffy and Madness begin moving wood and tools to where the cows pen was sectioned off, while Carlos walks slowly towards it while mumbling something no one cares about again.

“Ok group Charlie, Hawkens, MrP and Voltron, you guys start on the sheep pen, and MrP, make sure They both open their fucking eyes and don”t mess up. YOU do the hammering MrP.” Voltron and MrP turn and grab the equipment they need, but Hawkens on his way to the wood pile steps on the metal end of a rake, and the stick slams against his nose. “我会在你的头骨拉屎! Damn that hurt!” Hawkens screams as he tries to hold his nose but misses and almost pokes his right eye, but luckily the skin is so tight it just bounces off, and he remains for his nose.

Abe just sighs and looks at the remaining 4 boys. ”Ok Mr Bear, Panda and Fifer. You Bravo are to start by putting that pole in the group for when we get back with the animals, after that put up the gazebo and side tarps, we will use that for temp storage of food and equipment.

The three nod in unison and move towards the pole and shoulder it and start moving towards the marked area. Abe looks back at the only boy left standing in the line. Little boy Drew is smiling at Abe and looking at all his brothers doing hard work around the yard. ”What about me daddy?” drew says to Abe while tiling his head to the side. ”You drew will be coming with me to buy the animals! I’ll even let you pick out the sheep. ”Abe says as he points towards his Ute,”Jump in boy!”

Drew can’t contain his excitement, it’s been a long time since he has seen a sheep, months in fact, but now he gets to pick three and keep them forever. Abe and drew wave goodbye to the working boys and ScotsMum as they make their way to the road and get on the journey to the farm Abe intends to buy from.

After about 10 minutes on the road Abe turns down the radio and looks at Drew, who is immersed in a large book that seems to be about sheep.”What you reading there drewie?” Abe says while glancing at him and the road to stay safe.

“I’m just reading about the best sheep breed if they have more than one, we will probably have to settle with a few Corriedale sheep, but on the off chance they have any English Leicester sheep at all we are basically obligated to get at least one. But since there are so few breeding pairs it will probably be just a single sheep for some eye candy, and we can use the Corriedale for proper wool, meat and breeding purposes.”

Abe is taken back a bit, the amount of thought his little boy has put for buying just a few sheep is crazy to him, but it seems he really loves his sheep.”Ok Drewie, you seem to know your sheep.” Abe thinks for a minute, and he has an idea to get some great Daddy points. “You know, how about you pick the sheep we buy, and I’ll get the cows? Seem fair?” Drewie’s eyes light up like fireworks at the idea of being able to pick whatever sheep he want’s to take home.

After a few hours of driving, Abe and Drew arrive at the farm that Abe selected for their great price. The both walk up towards a front barn where a few farm hands are milling around and one farm hand sees both of them, waves, then calls for someone else who Abe assumes handles purchases and the like.

“Hey how ya doin! Me names Terry, you must be Abe.” Terry says as he extends his hand to Abe. Abe responds by firmly grasping Terry’s hand. “Spot on Terry, This here is my boy Drew, were here for a few sheep, cows and to order a few pigs for next week or so.” Terry responds to Abe’s comments by smiling and gesturing his hand towards a few fences out back. “Let’s take a walk to our paddocks then.”

After a few minutes they come across a pen with around a hundred sheep inside, Little Drewie’s eyes glow like the Asians in Hiroshima. Abe can’t help but smile, and he turns to Terry who is already about to answer Abe’s unspoken question. ”they’re all Corriedale, none older than 2 years in this pen, they were last cut about a month ago, we sell them in pairs because they need company, male female pair is a flat $300, whether you get one pair of a dozen. Drew looks at his dad with a pleading look in his eyes.”How about two pairs dad? We can’t let them be lonely.”

Abe chuckles at his son’s face and responds while patting the little boys head.”Yeah, yeah that’s a great idea. We will take two pairs Terry, as long as Little Drewie can pick out the ones he wants to take home.” Terry looks at drewie then nods, and drewie jumps the fence to find the sheep he wants to take home.

Abe and Terry leave drew to do his thing and look at the cows, Abe gets a female pair for $1900 with a rented truck to drop them off in. When they return to the sheep pen, drew has already picked all 4 he want’s, and Terry ropes them and takes them to the truck for transportation. Terry and Abe have a quick conversation about Pigs, and Abe will need to go elsewhere for a pair it seems.

Abe is lucky they let him rent a truck to take the animals home, and drew for whatever reason asks to ride in the back with the sheep, but that being extremely dangerous Abe denies that request.

After a hour of driving, Abe and drew get hungry and stop at a servo to get some food. After a great meal on their way out, they hear from the counter. “Stop that man! He stole that bar!” Abe looks back to see a man dressed in black head to toe, with a face so down syndromed he wonders how he isn’t already dead, but he is a robber, Abe can’t let that go! Abe reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a flintlock pistol, with powder already inside. He cocks the hammer, takes aim and blows a massive hole in the chest of the assailant. The cashier rushes out screaming ‘What did you do! You killed him!” Abe responds while cleaning his pistol. “It was Manat.” The cashier looks at the body’s face lying there dead on the concrete, realizes he’s right she says “Oh, cool.” and goes back to the counter. A police officer stops abe just before he gets into the truck, and Abe just responds with. “It was Manat.” And the police officer apologizes for wasting his time, and moves to piss on the dead body.

When they reach home, the boys have done a great job with the pens. They’re just finishing up the gate for the cow pen. Abe sees sparky , our beautiful dog wandering around near fluffybeard. Sparky seems to be very distressed, and grabs… Carlos’s ball gag, nudging it towards fluffy with a pleading look, and fluffy seems to agree and moves to gag Carlos. After a few more minutes the boys finish the gate, and everyone heads inside to get a needed break.

With the cow pen being complete and the sheep pen almost half done, Abe and drew move the cows into their new home and tie the sheep to the pole outside. Abe makes his way inside to talk to the boys and watch some t.v. But drew rushes upstairs and starts cleaning up his floor.

After ScotsMum cooks a great dinner of beef stroganoff, Abe calls for an early bedtime to continue the work tomorrow, so everyone goes upstairs to calm down a bit and get some shut eye. The weebs basically ran to their bunker after dinner, and Abe knows telling them to get to bed early is useless.

Abe and ScotsMum would have some great fun together, but both of them are both extremely tired and both just want to go to bed early like the kids. So they settle down in bed together, Abe reading a book titled ‘how to deal with faggy sons’, and Scotsmum rubbing hand lotion while reading Womens Day.

Abe suddenly is woken by a bump at night, he looks at the clock and it says 1:06 AM. ScotsMum wakes at Abe getting out of bed, ”it’s probably just the weebs or Voltron running into a wall trying to piss.” Abe looks at ScotsMum, Abe knows he is probably right, but he needs to make sure. After killing Manat you never know when the downie group that he was apart of might come for revenge.

Putting on some clothes Abe grabs his preloaded musket, opens his door to see a light on, it’s someone’s bedroom. Abe makes his way to the bedroom with the light on. He gets to the door and sees its Drew and Fifers room, Abe puts his ear up against the door and tries to listen on what is going on inside. He doesn’t hear anything at all, just silence. But the light is on, so something is going down.

Looking to his Left, Abe sees some dirt on the stairs, taking out his torch, he sees the dirt go from the bottom of the steps right to the door he is standing in front of. Deciding the chance Drew or Fifer are wanking is slim, Abe decides to just open the door without knocking, so Abe can see exactly what is going on.

Turning the handle slowly and opening the door just a slight bit so abe can see inside without anyone hopefully seeing, his eyes are blinded a little by the light in the room, but they soon recover. But his brain doesn’t recover as quickly when he sees what's going on inside. Drew is there, with his brothers arm in his, sticking a syringe into it. Abe is shocked, he has no idea why little Drewie is sticking his own brother with a needle. Abe decides to watch a bit longer, since he’s sure drew wouldn’t hurt his brother.

Suddenly abe hears a noise. It seemed to be coming from an area his vision can’t see in the room, drew sets his brother's arm down and moves to the noise. Then he pulls on a rope on the floor and…. What? Abe is stunned, it’s one of the sheep they bought today… INSIDE the house. What the fuck is Drew thinking bringing it inside AND at one AM! Abe is about to burst in demanding an explanation, but he waits a little longer when he sees what drew is doing.

Drew is filling another syringe with some more liquid, then he…… injects it into the sheep!?! What on earth is he thinking! The sheep falls over in about 3 seconds, muffled by its small wool coat. Drew then walks over to his brother, checks his pulse, then slaps his head a few times. Abe can just hear drew whisper “His slipin will in gud.” Abe is confused, he remembers the doctor saying giving him one pill a day will treat his disease, and they haven't missed a single day, still hiding the pill in his daily ice-cream allowance. Abe begins to panic what if it starts to come back? What if this is it. Is drew really suffering from his rare disease ‘new zealander’ again?

Abe decides to watch more, but he instantly regrets that as the next thing he hears is a zipper being lowered at an extreme speed. He sees his son's rock hard penis extend out like a balloon being filled with an air cannon. Drew’s face shows his happiness knows no bounds, and he licks his lips, falls on top of the sheep on the floor, the shoves his dick right into the poor sheep's anus. Abe can’t believe what he is watching, but he can’t turn away, he is just watching his son thrust in and out of an unconscious sheep.

Abe panics, maybe their last batch of anti zealands was a dud. So after one last check to see what is going on, he sees Drew is out out of the sheep's anus but is now licking it with extreme force, entering it deeper and deeper. Abe quickly keeps the door propped open like it is, and quietly rushes back to his room, where he opens an emergency draw, ScotsMum instantly wakes up on the opening of the draw. ”What's wrong honey?” ScotsMum asks. Abe looks at him, while taking a Syringe and a bottle of anti-zealander, it’s normally in pill form, but in an emergency like this, injection will have to do. Abe isn’t sure how to reply to ScotsMum, but just looks at him and says. ”Drew has gone native.” ScotsMum bounces off of the bed and gets into his night gown.

They both creep to the still open door, they both know what needs to be done, but both are scared as to what could happen. Abe looks at ScotsMum and signals to wait just at the end of the door, while Abe has a look inside. What he sees will haunt him for life. He sees drew, his son, with his pants completely off. But in just a short time he was away, drew has tied a kebab skewer around the sheep's tongue, and is using it as a dildo, thrusting it inside his anus over and over, moaning every time it enters his fresh young anus.

Abe is horrified, drew is moaning so loud even his attempts to cover it by shoving a sock in his mouth isn’t enough to mask it from Abe, and he is sure Scotsmum can hear it as well. Abe looks at ScotsMum and decides this needs to stop, so he nods at his wife. They both get into position, before their night time operation is about to begin.

Abe throws open the door, and slams it on the walls probably waking up everyone in the house. ScotsMum is shocked to an almost standstill at what he sees, but he has no time to stop. ScotsMum jumps at Drew tackling him and they both fall to the ground, Abe rushes over to start the zealander process, first he injects the anti-zealand syringe into Drew's neck, then Abe gets ready at Drew's left ear while ScotsMum takes the right ear. They both whisper together, “Rugby doesn’t matter, sheep are for clothes and food, earthquakes, rugby doesn’t matter, sheep are for clothes and food, earthquakes.” over and over, after twenty seconds drew is nearly completely unconscious, but they know they need to keep whispering. After two minutes Abe is sure it’s probably alright now, and stops whispering, but he sees Drew's homemade dildo still stuck in his anus. Abe has to pull it out, so he grabs the sheeps tongue and pulls it, but Drews young anus is too tight it grabs onto it, and when Abe finally gets it out, the *pop* noise it makes would make sound engineers cum.

ScotsMum checks Fifers pulse and nods at Abe to confirm he is still alive, while Abe looks at the half full bottle of liquid on Drew’s desk, the label reads ‘Ketamine general anesthetic’. Abe gets suspicious, where did such a young boy get this kind of hard knockout drug? ScotsMum sees Abe’s worrying face and moves to dress drew in his pajamas, and put him to bed, luckily the anti-zealand meds they gave him will wipe out any native outburst he’s had so Drew won’t remember a thing.

Abe has a sombering thought… Is there more? Abe hesitates, but moves towards Drews bedside stand. He looks at ScotsMum who nods his head, and Abe opens the top draw. What Abe is greeted to is...Normal. A few books, a 3DS and pokemon games, he even tried to hide his secret few manga under a German porn mag, poor closet weeb. Abe closes the top draw and opens the second with a lot less worrying. But that instantly disappears when he sees a box of latex gloves, a open box of sealed syringes, three bottles of the same drug Ketamine he had before, as well as a photo of a sheep, but not just any sheep Abe remembers its a English Leicester, the one drew wanted to get on the car ride to the farm.

Abe starts to panic again, has his Zealander been leaking into him even on the pill? Abe knows what started this, and how to finish it. Abe quickly grabs hold of the sheep, and carries it downstairs. He almost slips on some dirt on the floor, that drew must have dropped when bringing the sheep inside. Once Abe is outside, he puts the sheep next to his other family, and Abe gets something not fit for this purpose, but it will have to do.

Sitting next to a stack of firewood, the woodcutting axe is now above Abe’s head, when he decides to not back out, the axe slams into the neck of Drew's sex sheep, it’s still unconscious, being only fifteen minutes ago it was knocked out, but with the blood gushing out at an alarming rate, the second axe hit probably wasn’t needed, but it made Abe feel better. With the sheep's head now open like a closed convenience store in a black lives matter protest. With brains oozing out never to be used again, the other sheep near the pole sees what just happened but because they are fucking sheep, the one farthest doesn’t see the flintlock musket ball heading straight for it’s face, the third sheep to get it definitely sees the axe enter the middle of it’s face, splitting its jaw into two. The last sheep tries to run, but it snags itself of the rope tied to the pole. Now reloaded, Abe fires a musket ball right into its anus, cutting many organs and making it bleed out in just thirty seconds.

Abe doesn’t stop there, he isn’t taking any chances, he takes the cows, pushing them towards the wood left that was meant to be a chicken coop. Abe disappears from the backyard for a few seconds, but returns with a jerry can of petrol, pouring it all over the wood, when the cows try to run he hacks off one cow's leg while shooting another and they fall to the ground instantly. Covering them both in the extremely flammable liquid, Abe pours some powder he has from his extra charges in a line as a fuse, using the flint mechanism of his musket he lights the powder, instantly lighting the fuse, and since realism is key, and real black powder is used the powder burns extremely quickly, and the petrol catches alight in a near explosive fire, the cows begin doing cow screams that echo in Abe's head as he has flashbacks to what he saw his son doing. With the wood catching alight, and the cows crying out in pain as their skin melts on themselves, they eventually fade and die.

With the fire still raging Abe takes all the sheep and puts them on the fire, cremating them along with the sheep and his dream of raising farm animals. Abe turns around after twenty minutes of standing almost perfectly still, he sees his wife, standing there, with a extremely concerned look on his face. ScotsMum rushes to Abe's assistance,as Abe almost falls down to the ground,helping him try to stand.

“It’s ok honey.” ScotsMum keeps saying into Abe's ear. Abe can’t stop shaking, his hands feel like a dozen wasps have stung them. ScotsMum, now cradling his head, rocking side to side to comfort Abe. ”You did the right thing honey….You couldn’t know drew would do this. His New Zealander attacks aren't your fault, nothing could have stopped it, nothing …. It’s ok don’t cry.” Abe wishes he could, but it just won’t leave his mind, his son, balls deep in… in a fucking sheep! There's nothing Abe could have done if he had a bad batch of meds, but…. FUCK! He thought he was raised so well, and then..this….

ScotsMum cuddling Abe, calming him down looks at Abe, his Husband in complete shock. ScotsMum is lost for words, but he needs to comfort Abe as best he can.

“It’s ok honey,” ScotsMum says

 

 

“You’re never too young to have a New Zealander flash back.”

Abe then drifts off to sleep as ScotsMum injects the syringe of his sons Ketamine, ScotsMum puts Abe in the back seat of his station wagon, and drives him to the hospital.

 

Chapter 3 end.

 

 

 

\-----------------------------

My name is MajorMadness and thank you for reading my fanfic.

Bit of a different change of pace in this one, i got bored constantly writing gay sex, but the gay sex will soon return!

I would like to thank a few people:

fluffybeard for proofreading/editing and deleting these google docs every time he edits so they don’t show up when he is at school.

Carlos for fucking nothing.

Drew for being such a kiwi you fucking cunt.

Wolfgang and Cuthbert for letting me use them in my fanfic.(Just kidding i didn’t ask for shit)

Abe for being a bitch and HURRY UP AND COME HOME YOU WHORE.

 

Thanks for reading.


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